Just roll with this one... (See also ::Insert Clever Title Here::)

Ever have something to say, and you know what the meat of what you're trying to say is, but you don't know how to start? I have a few of those situations going on in my life and I kinda feel stuck in life limbo because of it... Same with this post, I know what I want to try to say, but I'm not sure how to get there, so consider this a disclaimer while I ramble and try to get there...

I think I'm a brunette. Well, ok. I am a brunette, but my natural color isn't a pretty brown. No Chestnut or Chocolate Brown for me. No. If we were to name my natural hair color, it would be called Dirty Diaper Brown. I have never liked my hair color, so when I was in 5th grade I started using Sun In Bleaching Spray after every shower. (My mom was against me dying my hair since I was so young and that was our compromise). By junior high I was changing my hair and nail polish color on the regular, and if asked people would assume me a natural blonde. (And that I was dumb as bricks. I didn't correct either) By the end of high school my hair had hit every color in the color spectrum, natural and unnatural and I had settled on a very nice Blue Black for my "Big Girl Management Job". And that was it for a while. Eventually I chopped off my at the time styled Betty Page do to a 90's boy actor style, let it grow out a couple of times and ditched the dye for ::maybe:: 3 years. I had a friend who needed a guinea pig before adding funky colors to her line at work so I volunteered. That was almost 3.5 years ago and since that moment my hair has been Blue, Pink, Purple, Red and multiple variations of each color, as well as the base color once again going around the color wheel.

Ask my mom and she'll tell you she LOVED my natural color. She'll also lament on how she wishes I would make the decision to go back to my natural color (with or without the streaks).

But I won't. Not out of defiance or a lack of respect, but because I don't like it. One of my friends is getting married next year and out of respect for her big day my hair will be drastically toned down so I blend into the crowd. I recently experimented with a look and killed the streaks in my bangs and only left the ones in the middle. So many people told me I looked pretty and more mature, I even got a random sexy out of it, but the very next time I got in the chair I put them back. I changed how they're placed, but my bangs are pink again. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't like what I saw. It didn't matter that the world around me liked me better without, I didn't.

I'm also not a fan of dudes changing their facial hair to keep their ladies happy. It seems very much a "I like you, but I'd like you more if....." and that's not right. If you don;t like the person staring back at you in the mirror, even if it is over something "superficial" like your body hair, do something. But don't make the changes to please the people around you.

Now, extremists. If you have diabetes or some health altering condition and someone is begging for a change, ::maybe:: consider making those changes, but in all other circumstances, if no one is being hurt, and you like yourself, that should be enough.