Hello Again, My old friend....

I did it again. I once again took an unplanned sabbatical due to my brain being a jerk. And then I half wrote some stuff in my head, and because I was out of the habit of writing on the regular, laziness took hold and it took me another 3 weeks to build up the courage to turn my browser here. And I stand by some of my sabbatical, life got really hectic toward the end of the year, I had a minor melt down and blogged during it (see more below) and then I had to deal with the finalizing of the court stuff to make it official that I'm not married, and business never really picked up after the summer, my laptop was (was as in past-tense) almost a paperweight and my tablet has cracks, and, and, and, and... Well, you get the idea. My plate was WAY too full, but then I refused to re-balance once things got settled down. But I'm here again, so let's go!

If you look at my last post, you will notice it is filled with grammatical and spelling errors. You ::might:: notice that the tone of voice is a little inconsistent, and that it doesn't seem to be very well written. The day I wrote that I was wrapped up in a cloak of despair and depression. It didn't matter what I did, I just couldn't shake it off, I was able to press it down long enough to go to the laundromat with Monk and Gil, but for the most part I lay around curled in a ball just hating everything, for absolutely no reason. So I forced myself to grab my tablet and put it on it's stand and type. For a lot of it I was using one finger at a time and laying far away from it so that I could barely reach.

What was the point of that seemingly meaningless activity? I wanted to see if there was a difference in how my brain was actually working when I felt that way, and since I have plenty of work posted online I figured I could compare them. And compare them I did! I actually went back and forth with the idea of going back and editing it, but then I realized I would lose all the things about it that I was looking for if I edited it, and then it would actually be meaningless. So it stays. In it's original form.



I recently got tested for a Zinc deficiency, and came back SUPER deficient. I've been taking a zinc supplement for just about a month now, and let me tell you, it has made SUCH a difference! In our first real cold of the winter I was walking from Monk's school to the bus stop so I could go to work and it was so cold I shivered myself into a back spasm. My hands and feet are usually so cold that it hurts other people when I touch them while the rest of my body is normal temperatures. Since taking the zinc, I have noticed that I'm not getting so cold, and I can actually retain the heat around me. And my anxiety has calmed too! Apparently a zinc deficiency can trigger your body's Fight/Flight response and if you have anxiety or other similar disorders you can get stuck in a spiral. Gil plays music for a living and every so often he has gigs on nights when Monk is with his dad and I can go, which is awesome! Once my body goes and has a panic attack about being around so many people and then calms itself back down. I was able to skip the horrible panic attack the last gig I attended!! Now I'm sure there's more I need to do, but a $10/month supplement is a step in the right direction!

That's all we have time for today folks, but join me next time where I may (or may not, we'll see) talk about my current debate with myself about sharing things on the internet!!