Sunday, January 13, 2013

I'm not as think as you dumb I am....

First off, I want to point out that I almost wrote this last night around 2am, but I stopped myself for a couple of reasons. 1) If I'm going to touch on this subject my spelling and grammar should be in the reasonably correct category. 2) So far my late night posts have been more rambly and really, it was 2am.. Just because I never sleep doesn't mean I shouldn't TRY to sleep... So here goes my attempt to convince you that yes, there is in fact a brain hiding under my brightly colored hair (which is currently Cherry Red fyi).

Secondly, I'm making some assumptions about the people that read this that are as follows;
If you're reading this most likely you:
*Have seen my face when words fall out of it
*Knew me decently well at one point or another in my life
*Have looked at me while I was talking like I sprouted another head
*Don't know nearly as much about me as you think ;)

Ok. So without turning this into one of those pathetic woe is me things, lets just say my childhood was more sadness and stress than lollipops and gumdrops. Before I even hit puberty I was dealing with shiet that not even some grown folks could handle. So to cope, I did a couple of things, first, I started my lifelong off and on relationship with nicotine (currently off btw) and whenever possible, I turned off my brain. I became a pro at word vomit. Ironically I was in the honors classes in school, but if you asked the kids in my classes they probably couldn't tell you why.

Eventually, it just became second nature to dumb myself up, to the point where even now it's assumed I'm an immature ditz. Very few people even try to disprove that "fact", and when someone stumbles across the knowledge I'm not a blooming idiot the shock factor is pretty high.

So what's the point of me claiming to be of the intelligent variety? I'm needing to do bigger and better this year, and that means being able to convey smart versus dumb, and that means convincing myself. If I can't prove myself to myself how can I prove myself to anyone else?

2013, I'm coming for you. ;)

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