Wednesday, May 25, 2016

So.... Where's the Line?

As anyone who has attempted to follow this blog in any sort of regular basis can attest, I go through spurts of information drops and then radio silence. Never really on purpose, and I'm always editing my next project in my head whether or not I ever get to typing it out, but it's the way it is.

And it always comes back to one question. Where do I draw the line between writing and sharing the things I write and invading the privacy of the people around me? I write about things that have happened to me, and my loved ones, and I come up with clever (-esk) nicknames and vague descriptions to hide their identities. But, if you know me away from the computer, as a good chunk of you do, when I tell you about the things I'm struggling to overcome, you see the face of the person who also stars in the stories, and it isn't always a  pretty thing.

I recently learned something legit life shattering, something that made a part of my heart that I didn't realize was breakable flat out shatter into a million pieces. The pain and utter hopelessness I feel in my chest because of this betrayal is intense, and writing it out would probably help me cope better than I currently am. (My current method is complete and utter avoidance and feigning ignorance) But if I share, the domino effect of damage would be horrendous. Right now, the only people suffering is me and the person who told me. For everyone else, nothing has changed. But if I share? Countless people will be hurt..

And this is the problem I come across every so often. I want to talk about my marriage failures, and all the glaring red flags we both ignored, so others can see them and learn from them. But if I write and talk about those very ugly events it will be very VERY hard to continue the level of civility and basic friendship my son needs to see me have with his father.

So. I write these articles in my head that never go anywhere, and I constantly doubt about the ones I do publish and fear retaliation. Not even from the people themselves, but towards them. It's a conundrum.

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