Saturday, June 8, 2013

You know what really grinds my gears????

I realize I'm not due for another one of these for a couple of weeks, but I was made aware of a situation that got my little brain bubbling with anger. I've decided to not tell you flat out before my little example story, but those of you that are clever might get it early on anyways...

I am, DEATHLY allergic to all nuts and all seafood products. We've experimented with Worcester Sauce (accidentally) and determined that it's quantities of anchovies are so low that it makes me queesy without me knocking on death's door. (Obvs I'm not going to start drinking it like water, but it's good to know).

Once I was walking in the mall with my mom and some Fabio wanna-be accosted me with his "all natural" lotion rubbing it on my hand without my permission. Since almond oil is in fact natural he was right, but I seriously enjoyed showing him my immediately swelled up hand and informing him that you don't just slap random products on random people.

Another time I went for a massage and specifically asked for their hypo-allergenic lotion since the lotion they used had (you guessed it!!) almond oil in it. My therapist knew better than me and ignored my request and by the end of the massage I was a giant hive. Driving home was one of the scariest moments I have ever had since I had never before been exposed to my allergen at such a high dose, and from the outside instead of being digested. My brain was all cloudy and I remember getting home and drinking an entire bottle of Benadryl, passing out and sleeping the next 24 hours of my life away.

And to illustrate an example of my seafood allergy, I once had a sleepover at a friends where they made eggs and fish for breakfast. I didn't know that was a thing and ended up eating one of the most delicious plates of death EVER. Apparently I missed it when she announced what she was making so I had to deal with the consequences of devouring a plate of death. (Swelling tongue, loss of oxygen, throat closing up... all sorts of fun stuff) (I don't know what I'd do without Benadryl, seriously.)

So, seriously allergic, bad things happen when I interact with either of them. Guess what my son's favorite food is. Peanut butter. Same with the hubs. Whenever I want to get a small treat I get them some peanut butter candy to share. Sure I can't be around for a while, but it gives them joy and who am I to deprive them of their joy because I can't share in it? That would make me a shietty person.

Same thing when I go to a restaurant, I don't hassle people at other tables because they ordered food I can't touch. Hell, I'm even responsible for picking menu options for people on a regular basis and the crowd favorite is the Salmon. I just make sure there's a non-deadly option for me each week.

So I lied. I decided in the middle of typing this that you don't get to know what particular instance of closed minded bigotry made me angry. There's too many of them out there, and I would hate to pinhole this and it miss it's aim.

Bottom line: If I can be perfectly fine being in situations surrounded by things that could quite literally KILL ME, you can put on your big girl (or boy) pants and deal with situations that you don't like, but have absolutely ZERO effect on your life other than making you squirm.

Grow up. Intolerance is SO last season.. ;)

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